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Saturday, May 10, 2008

The Power of Goodbye

May is not my favorite month, especially the 10th of May. No, I don’t mind the rain or the springtime. For me, May brings memory of a lost loved one. Thirteen years ago I was on my way out the door, early in the morning rushing to get the kids to day care so they could catch the bus to school. After dropping my kids off at day care I would be on my way to pick up a friend and get to work on time. Well, I never made it to work that day. Instead I found a cookie jar on my back porch. A beautiful one with a flowers hand painted on it. Questioning the cookie jar, I opened it up. Inside the cookie jar was a note. As soon as I read the first line I knew something was wrong. I quickly drove to my loved ones house. His car was in the driveway. Everything had to be ok . . . I thought. I opened the door to his house, took one step inside and divine intervention told me not to go inside. I yelled his name three times. No answer. Scarred, I ran to the neighbor’s house asking for his help. The neighbor walked with me back to my loved ones house. The neighbor walked to the top of the stairs of the split level entry home and turned around as soon as he got to the top of the stairs. “He’s dead” he said to me…… I screamed out in fright. My loved one was dead.

Thirteen years is a long time, you may think. However; the tragedy of my loved one’s death still affects me. The power of good bye has not only affected me, it has affected his children, my children, many of his friends and the Town of Ruston where he served as the Mayor. There is no greater power than the power of goodbye (as sung by Madonna) is what I will be listening to today.


EmeraldPrincessOnline said...

So this is more of the background story on the person you wrote about awhile back... I know it was painful to write. It is painful to read. But it is good that you were able to share the experience with those of us in the blogosphere.

Today I awoke with thoughts of daughter's suicide mission to St. Lucia nearly 14 years ago...and the pain that has shrouded my life and crushed my heart ever since. I had thought about blogging about it today, because as Mother's Day approaches each year, I wonder how I can bear it and this year seems more excruciating than the ones before. It really does not get better with time. The heartache just grows to be more profound.

For what it's worth, thanks for having the courage to write about it. Others must surely be feeling the same pain even this many years later...

JosephMcG said...

Thank you, JJ and PC, for sharing. I am keeping you and your loved ones in my thoughts and prayers this May.

Patty Cake said...

Thank you Emerald Princess online
Remember people whos lives have been affected by suicide are more likely to committ suicide themselves. I hope you are OK

Patty Cake said...

Thank you Joseph

Your prayers are helping! I just know it!