Monday, April 14, 2008
DAVID AND THE TRASH BIN
Sunday, at King Oscar's in Chehalis, where the World Wide Marriage Encounter Weekend was ending, I had a chance to meet David and his dad.
For thirty years I had joyfully supported young people as they chose to courageously face that terrifying transition from childhood/teenage/college years to becoming young adults.
Many human beings I met shared their joys and sufferings. Often one of the great losses in their lives had been the physical, emotional, or spiritual absence of a parent.
I could identify with that loss. My father had never been available to me. I needed him to teach me how to be a Black man in American... 1940 to today. The way I talked, my perceptions and attitudes, my understanding of who I am and what I should do were shaped, not by the man who gave me life, but by my grandmother and mother (thank you God for giving me Mary Lou and Lourina), and the women and men who took time to love and guide me over the years. They did very well.
But I know my life would have taken a much different shape if MY DAD had been there for me.
Good shape, bad shape, indifferent shape? I do not know. But right now, as I am writing this post, I still miss MY DAD so very, very much.
TO THE POINT
So given the stories of the human beings I had served for thirty years and my own deep, deep need of MY DAD, I had come to believe that anything I could do to support other moms and dads in sharing their lives sincerely and deeply with their kids would, in some way, help me to accept my own loss and to help other children to lead lives that were happy, healthy, and meaningful.
AT KING OSCAR
David just caught my attention. He was full of energy, very much his own person--- awkwardly shy with me and the other adults there, but just one great big dynamic, loving human being.
David and his dad held my attention... holding each other, talking with each other, playing with each other... absolutely (beyond my desire to whine, moan, cry for what I had not experienced when I was a boy) terrific together.
I really think that the holding and talking and playing with each other is essential to becoming confident, healthy, loving and caring. What do you think?
Here's a video of David, his dad, and a family friend playing together. David is
describing each picture in the brochure as TRASH... aren't the three of them absolutely beautiful...
Posted by JosephMcG at 6:13 PM