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Friday, August 1, 2008

Phonebooks and Phantasia

It happened again yesterday. I went to the mailbox and had to do strenuous battle to remove yet another phone book from within. They seem to be delivered with the alarming regularity of the buckets of water, carried by enchanted brooms, in the Sorcerer's Apprentice. Is there anyone with the correct spell to make it stop?

Now don't get me wrong...I like a good yellow pages to browse...but...do ninety-twelve of them have to be delivered in a year? Is a whole new book issued for each new business that signs on?

Computers were meant to save trees and now you can find good ol' Dex right there online...or in the cell phone permanently glued to most folks' ears. Still, great leagues of forest must give themselves to the march of the phonebooks. Are you hearing the music yet?

We've made at least a bazillion trips to recycle. I've used them for doorstops, booster seats for visiting children, have built forts, tables, and chairs out of them. Perhaps our next house will be made out of phonebooks, who knows! I think I may have enough to make a guest cabin already.

Prithee kind neighbour, wouldst thou know where I might find the Micky Mouse who conducts this parade, so that I mayest remove his hat and wand? I'll wait for your reply, sitting on a mile-high pile of Tacoma, Gig Harbor, and Kitsap Peninsula phonebooks! Catalogues? Don't get me started!!

6 comments:

M. Sugimura said...

Lorraine -

You must have a good sized mailbox if the postal service (or any other mail delivery firm) wants to put what passes for a phone book these days.

People who do this for a living in my area have to leave the phone books on the front steps as there's no room in the boxes.

If I had my way, I'd only receive one!

Stephanie Frieze said...

I wish I knew the answer to your question, Lorraine. Back before Ma Bell was broken up we got one for Bellevue and one for Seattle and that was it. Now everyone and their dog seem to think they need to publish a phonebook and it's hard to know which one is worth keeping and is inclusive.

And catalogues! I know not everyone has a computer, but come on, if I've ordered off the Internet folks, chances are you don't need to send me a print version of your offerings. I just hauled a huge amount bunch to the recycle bins at the port dock here in Ilwaco.

Kim Thompson said...

I NEVER use an actual paper phone book. EVER. It's too much waste. For some reason, where I live, it seems like the yellow pages deliveries have drastically reduced though. Maybe once a year nowadays. Not sure why.

Lorraine Hart said...

The large books are left on the ground at the base of my mailbox...or in the ditch off to the side. The smaller, half-size are shoved with ess-bend force inside the mailbox...and they come every two-to-three months in swarms.

I would like them to cease and desist...but haven't got a clue who to ask!

kinsmed said...

No. No I'm not hearing the music.
I'm NOT hearing the music.
I'm...

Dang.

Thanks, Lorraine.

Lorraine Hart said...

Sorry Kinsmed!!! *tee-hee*

All will be well when we find out how to stop the march...but in the meantime...here's an incantation to take that music out of your head...sing it with me now...
"ROXANNE...you don't hafta poot on your red light....ROXANNE!"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!