Phonebooks and Phantasia

It happened again yesterday. I went to the mailbox and had to do strenuous battle to remove yet another phone book from within. They seem to be delivered with the alarming regularity of the buckets of water, carried by enchanted brooms, in the Sorcerer's Apprentice. Is there anyone with the correct spell to make it stop?

Now don't get me wrong...I like a good yellow pages to browse...but...do ninety-twelve of them have to be delivered in a year? Is a whole new book issued for each new business that signs on?

Computers were meant to save trees and now you can find good ol' Dex right there online...or in the cell phone permanently glued to most folks' ears. Still, great leagues of forest must give themselves to the march of the phonebooks. Are you hearing the music yet?

We've made at least a bazillion trips to recycle. I've used them for doorstops, booster seats for visiting children, have built forts, tables, and chairs out of them. Perhaps our next house will be made out of phonebooks, who knows! I think I may have enough to make a guest cabin already.

Prithee kind neighbour, wouldst thou know where I might find the Micky Mouse who conducts this parade, so that I mayest remove his hat and wand? I'll wait for your reply, sitting on a mile-high pile of Tacoma, Gig Harbor, and Kitsap Peninsula phonebooks! Catalogues? Don't get me started!!