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Friday, February 6, 2009

What's Love Got To Do With It

If there is one place where love shows itself, it is at a hospital. I smile so often as I walk the halls, watching two future parents walking up and down the hallways--
soon to be mom so very, very obviously pregnant...soon to be dad so very, very lovingly attentive) slowly, oh so slowly and caringly walking those hallways.


The nurses and the doctors are so gentle... asking questions--- are you sleeping ok, are you eating enough, do you need some water-- checking monitors and various tubes, listening to one's heart beat, attentive to lumps and rashes... a caring, compassionate conversation focused on the patient's needs is always going on.


I recall one patient buying flowers for the nurses who were helping him just a few weeks ago. "You are taking such care of me and other people here," he said, "I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your work."


And those couples... patient in bed, spouse sitting next to her/him. Conversations frequently go like this... we have been married twenty, thirty years or more (with the quiet taking of each other's hand, the eyes fixed on the eyes of the other, and the smile. Love, love, love...the greatest gift we can give each other!


I leave my work just a little bit more human and definitely smiling more sincerely after being permitted to be with loving people. Often people will ask me how I am doing.

I know this does not make any literal sense... but here is the best I do so often in responding. I'll say "I am so happy I am thinking about declaring myself to be a national monument." People get me smiling so much and so intensely I begin to imagine myself on a high, high mountain, just looking at folks and beaming warm, precious light from my eyes on them.

What's love got to do with living... (in my humble opinion) EVERYTHING.

9 comments:

Stephanie Frieze said...

The work you and everyone at the hospital is so special and important, Joseph. I spent 10 days in St. Joe's in the 1990s and received wonderful care. I'm sure you have your share of heart ache seeing hurting families who have or are in the process of losing a loved one, but you also have the joy of seeing recoveries. Thank you for your selflessness.

JosephMcG said...

Selflessness, dear Stephanie. I do not know about selflessness, I have never felt more filled... laughing at times, at other times literally at my wits' ends.
The greatest lesson I have learned is to just listen--- people, I think, feel so much better, when they are listened to... I learned a long time ago to stop giving advice, to stop fixing folks...
but to stay right there with them...to let them explore their concerns with you... I have learned so much; I am learning to face my own dying with humility; I am learning that each person has a wonderful story to tell... their ups and downs, hurts and fears...
Selfless... no, inspired and transformed...
Thank you for affirming the beauty I see around me every day at the hospital.
Joseph McG

Stephanie Frieze said...

The listening is very important for people who are suffering, Joseph and what you do is a blessing to patients and staff both, no doubt.

JosephMcG said...

It often is a blessing in patchwork clothing... one patient had a fascinating way of communicating... dropping names and talking about situations that I knew nothing about... I visited that patient a number of times (never sure if s/he remembered that I had visited before)
Finally, frustrated by my asking questions the patient asked me:
"what is your problem, are you a fruitloop?" I laughed at that.
Beginning that day until the very moment I am writing this, I have come to believe that name focuses in a very important part of my personality... dingy, out of it, going no where slow nerd...
Father Fruitloop... now there's a name I like hearing... (every other blue moon)

Joseph McG

Stephanie Frieze said...

Just remember that Fruit Loops are sweet and come in lots of colors.

Jaynie Jones said...

Father Fruitloop will stick with me forever. You could also be Father Honey Bunches of Oats or Father Nut 'n' Honey...but Father Fruitloop is by far and away most descriptive and a moniker none of us will forget. xxoo

Jaynie Jones said...

Father Fruitloop will stick with me forever. You could also be Father Honey Bunches of Oats or Father Nut 'n' Honey...but Father Fruitloop is by far and away most descriptive and a moniker none of us will forget. xxoo

JosephMcG said...

Jaynie Jones... you do get me smiling... love to you and all who are close to you...

Joseph McG

Lorraine Hart said...

Listening is sweet loving...being present and listening deeper...that's walking in service to Love. It doesn't deplete, but fills the cup, fills the cup.