Under Our Skin Swim

Open Eye Pictures, Under Our Skin

Just over two years ago now, I joined a water aerobics class to strengthen my creaky, arthritic body, and found Easter Seals Camp Stand-By-Me, just ten minutes from our Aerie on Joe’s Bay.  Down a winding, steep driveway, the camp sits like an oasis in Vaughn, right on the bay.  I’ll never forget the first time I went into this pool, I cried as gravity gave way to therapeutic water, my element since before I was born!  Gently held, I could move once again, do the exercises that were impossible on the floor, with my stegosaurus spine.  Yes, I feel sore and tired after, but in that deep end, I am an otter at play…albeit a slower, grunting one!

It’s a small pool, with deep and shallow side-by-side.  You can see trees through glass sliding doors on each side and, when the sun is out, golden light spills in patches on the water, pathways of sunlight connected, like the Collective Unconscious, like All My Relations, and faith gathering, through small, undulating waves.  Holding the skylights and giving us shelter, a cedar roof and rafters weaving their own patterns above.

The water is where I’ve always come, to ask for help or communication, to be mindful of each breath in and each breath out.  As the Buddha says, we are but hinges for breath.  Swimming is a moving meditation, a please on inhale, a thank you on exhale.  It was in the pool I used to ask for help in finding a doctor for my daughter, one who would understand new research on Lyme disease.  This May, it will be six years since we found that doctor, receiving his phone call after I came home from swimming my regular mile of please and thank you, at a gym in Tacoma.

When the multi-award-winning documentary on Lyme (and its politics) “Under Our Skin” came out, there was Mandy on the cover, in her pool.  Two of our favourite Lymefighters, Leslie Wermers and Tracie Schissel re-created this shot, together, on their website.  Leslie will forever be known as the woman who predicted her own death from Lyme, in this film, while the head of the panel to make Lyme Guidelines (from the Infectious Disease Society of America) is still calling chronic Lyme patients “Lyme-Nuts,” and making money on that stance.  Les often comes to me, while I swim, and I think of Mandy, who swims again, though she is also back in treatment.  Tracie, Les’ sister, still struggles with Lyme, still advocates as much as she can for others. 

Poster by Dale Goodvin

We received our second proclamation from the Governor’s Office, this year, naming May officially Lyme-Awareness Month in Washington, as in so many other states.  We thank Rep. Larry Seaquist and Assistant Terra Rose, for their help in expediting.  In May, nymph ticks can be as small as a poppy-seed…still as dangerous, still as much bacterial and viral infections as their larger parents.  Those who have read my blogs know I try to do something each year, to raise awareness about ticks carrying Lyme and co-infections, about them traveling all the feathered airlines, everywhere.  Google images of ticks on birds…but not before bedtime!  My family tries to educate others, not wanting them to have to take the long and hard journey my daughter has…that we, as a family walk together, now in Anna’s fourteenth year of Lyme and co-infections.  She was in hospital with multiple blood clots in both lungs, in February, and will be getting a central line put in her chest next week.  To say Anna is a champion, doesn’t say enough.

Daruma (fall 7 times, rise 8) by Mizu Sugimura.

With the help and blessing of Easter Seals, Washington, and Camp Stand-By-Me, this year my family kicks off May as Lyme-Awareness Month by swimming for two solid hours in the camp’s pool, Sunday, April 29^th from 2-4pm.  My husband Matt, my son Aaron, and myself pledge in the name of hundreds of chronic Lyme patients in this state, to do our very first, small, “Under Our Skin Swim,” while supporters hand out educational Lyme literature, a wonderful state resources booklet (good for anyone dealing with any chronic illness) pamphlets from one of the very few labs in this country to specialize in Lyme (testing for Lyme at most labs produces a possible 75% false-negative rate) a free and easy education…that could save your life!  Copies of the DVD “Under Our Skin” will be the only item available for sale, all proceeds going to Open Eye Pictures Lyme-Awareness Outreach, with thanks for their permission to use the name, and for their gracious support, personalized by Regan Brashear.  Of course, the Daruma Mizu made for Lyme (fall down seven times, rise eight, is the daruma saying) will be on display, a beautiful cheerleader, thank you Mizu!

Please come to Camp Stand-By-Me on April 29^th to meet my family and cheer us on, if only for a few minutes.  Take some time to look around the camp, just cleaned and given some loving by 250 terrific volunteers.  You can meet Joshua Mayer, the new Camp Director putting his heart and elbow grease into this camp.  In May, the campers come…kids who would not have this wonderful experience, without Easter Seals.  If you’re thinking of a charitable donation, remember them, please.  I thank Cathy Bisaillon, Head of Easter Seals for Washington State, for their generosity, and interest in keeping their campers as safe as can be.  Last, but not least, I thank Maxine Halley, for donating her time as lifeguard for this event.

I’m not saying I’ll be able to end two hours gracefully, and with no grunting, but you can be sure of this: I will make those two hours, for my daughter, and for others I love as my own.  They will be sending in their own way of standing and being counted in this state.  That, I’ll keep secret for you to come down and find.  This is only the beginning of “Under Our Skin Swims” started, with love and dedication to Anna, in memory of our dear Les, and in the names of all those who suffer.  With each inhale, the word please, each exhale, I thank you.

It's A Brand New Day

I am determined, despite my seventy one years, to affirm the wonderful possibilities of the future. Day by day I see so many young people who are loving: at the hospital, the loving members of the family who come and spend time with ailing parents, grandparents, and friends; at church, curious, creative, and prayerful men, women, and children, who take time to share their joys and gifts with other church members... the sun, moon, and stars are constantly smiling at our choosing to relate to each other positively... At Bellarmine, in the Quadrangle, all who spend time here will find that one of the ways they will find meaning in their lives is daily doing whatever is necessary to make sure that our world becomes a safe, healing, and nourishing space for all

I am often stopped by the beauty of the flowers and other plants in the Bellarmine High School Quadrangle.

And the warmth and sun have invited this beautiful tree to don its spring finery and give me a few moments to just be stopped and awed by its finery.

I thank all the schools, churches, other institutions, home owners, and renters who take time to provide a loving space where I can stop, look, listen, and enjoy... it is great to be living today Bellarmine Quadrangle In The Morning

The Easter Lamb

One of the wonderful members of St. Rita of Cascia Parish in Tacoma baked this cake for the members of my community, the Bellarmine Jesuit Community. Here is a picture of the Lamb Cake, which I am proud to share with you.

Here is what TL...... wrote: "This Lamb Cake is a POlish tradition. The flag stands for the Pascal flag and the Polish flag. My mother use to back hundreds of these cakes each year and give them out to all those who were dear to her. She would send one to Pope John Paul each year also. I wanted to continue her tradition by making one for you to share with your Jesuit brothers at Bellarmine...I hope you have a very joyful and Blessed Easter." Thanks TL... you are a loving gift of God.

How Awesome That Must Feel

One of the chaplains was sharing an exchange that took place between him and a family member by way of email Wednesday touched me very deeply. I am so happy he said I could share that exchange with you. First, I have copied his comments, then the family member's response, and finally, my response to both by way of You Tube:

I thought I should update you on how Dad is doing these days. Since mom's death a year and a half ago he has done fairly well; but when you are 91 (that) doesn't mean you are getting any younger. In face he is becoming more and more frail as the days go by.
Not many weeks ago ... Assisted Living... where he lives, had to call 911. (In fact they had to call) on 3 occasions in as many weeks.

Two of the times he was taken to the ED (emergency department), which happens to be the one I work in. He was able to tell them, and I affirmed it, that he did not want any tests or treatments and he didn't want to be put in the hospital.

The doctors were kind and understanding and agreed that at his age he should not be admitted, poked or scanned if he didn't want it. They let him go home each time, much to his relief.

From those experiences we were able to get him into Palliative Care for about a month but he is becoming more frail and still does not want to go to the hospital or leave his home. His desire is to stay in his apartment until he steps into heave; and Life Manor has been extremely supportive and desires to support Dad in this as do (my wife) and I.

And so he has not been made a Hospice patient. He now has all the support and affirmation (so) that he does not need to go tothe hospial or do anything he doesn't want. Their desire is to support him and comfort and to keep him as pain free(as possible.

We have gone through his med (medications') list and (my wife and I) have worked with the nurses to cut his meds down where possible. Dad is absolutely loving the care he is receiving from Hospice; he has a nurse, social worker, chaplain and even a massage therapist who will come and see him on a regular basis and they tell him he can eat anything he wants!!!

The best part about all this is Dad knows without a doubt that he probably is not long for this world and he is content with that. His goal in life has always been to bring glory to God and that is exactly what he desires now. Dad's greatest desire has been to show others that the "Peace that passes understanding" is real. He is trusting that God will allow those who are watching him in these last days,(to) see that "Peace" fully overtaking him now.

Family Member's Response
I was just telling W... this Sunday after church that I'm afraid of dying. I think maybe that's because I'm not living in peace. I'm fearful and anxious. The (graduate) program is pretty thankless and self-serving which is not fulfilling for me. I like helping people and working with people more directly than this. But I'm forcing myself to finish because I'm so close. I'm not sure exactly how to get there, but I definitely aspire to live that way.
Although it may only be another 6-8 months, I'm not sure if I can do it. It's made me anxious and fearful that I'm wasting precious time. I'm nost sure what the right decision is and I struggle with it daily.

Hearing about your dad's journey is very inspiring and I wonderful if has such amazing peace now because he lived a life in peace? I'm not sure exactly how to get there, but I definitely aspire to live that way. Did he everhave questions about Go's plan for him or struggle with how to live in peace?

Please tell him we are praying for him and we are grateful for His grace and the peace your dad is experiencing. His peace has brought me peace, just by hearing about it. I pray that when the time comes, I won't be scared of death and I'll look back at a life well lived, serving God. How awesome that must feel!

McGowan's response:
I was deeply moved as my team member read these two emails to me and two other members. After much reflection, the song which I have recorded came to mind:

Fife 2nd Hand Treasures Changing Name, Heading To St. Helens In Tacoma

Fife 2nd Hand Treasures, 5303 Pacific Highway E, has been an indispensable part of many members of the community along the old 99 corridor after owners opened the doors to this small, neighborhood consignment store last summer in the former Rexall Pharmacy slot by the famous Poodle Dog Restaurant and historic Fife Plaza.

While not exactly a classic mom and pop, store proprietors strove to infuse it with a comfortable, come-as-you-are personality while selling both new and gently used merchandise, providing the old-fashioned service, nurturing consignment partners and raising money for a list of worthwhile charities with the kind welcome long-time residents recalled from older businesses who once populated the area in days of yore.

Sadly, old fashioned service and smiles were not quite enough to insure the store as it was would be able to sail completely intact through all of the many and various hurdles and challenges small businesses find themselves forced to navigate in longer post-bubble economic universe. Nevertheless their presence in the area was warm and friendly and many of us around the corner in the nearby neighborhoods will keenly miss them.

So April 15 will be officially the last day that Fife 2nd Hand Treasures will do business at the corner of 54th Avenue and Pacific Highway E. But Fife's turns out to be a gain for the City of Destiny as customers have been informed that the store along the busy highway will begin a second new chapter of its life as Common Ground Treasures doing business at a tad more toney location , 723 St. Helens in Tacoma, WA with a Grand Opening slated for May 1st.

To keep abreast of new store details click here.

Sunday Evening Reverie

Quiet evening at Bellarmine. I have had lots of time to read and think. My reading got so sad and heavy that I had to back off, chill out, watch a thriller on cable and let go of what I was learning...the forties and sixties and seventies were hard times for this country, courageous folks stood up against Jim Crow in the South and discrimination in the North.
I lived in a bubble, far away from the fear and hurt of the times.
Do I consider that I was a lucky person, learning to pray and studying philosophy during the early sixties? I do not know.
I do know that, every day now I have an opportunity to listen to, understand, and support other human beings. I am very grateful that I have been given this time to think and speak and act in positive and loving ways.

Enjoy these few moments here in the Bellarmine Qadrangle on Sunday evening.

Saint Patrick''s Day: Fond Remembrances

I have fond memories of moments when Irish culture and folks just plain overwhelmed me.

The first man who ever spent any time with me was Father O'Rourke. I was living with my grandmother in Rosenberg, Texas. She was the housekeeper for the priests living there. And Father O'Rourke, who lived in the rectory took time with me personally to prepare me for my First Holy Communion. After he had done that I used to follow him around whenever I could. When he went walking through the church garden saying his prayers I would be walking right behind him saying mine, sometimes the Rosary, sometimes the prayer book. I would have my Rosary; I would have my prayer book. When folks would asked me why I chose to become a priest, I always have talked about Father O'Rourke.

When I went to Seattle Preparatory School, beginning with my sophomore year, Father Mike McHugh, Society of Jesus, chose to be my counselor, mentor, and support person for many years... from the time I was a teenager until I was approved for ordination in 1974. He, my mother and my grandmother, saw me through the ups and downs of teenage and young adult life.

When I went to Berkeley, California to study theology, Sister Dorothy Donnelley chose to reach out to me and to teach me how to listen to the feelings of other people and my own feelings. As I became more conscious of my feelings I became more aware of the loving presence of God with me and all around me.

So I thank the Lord for the wonderful people who have helped Joseph Oneal McGowan, Society of Jesus, to become the African American man who is determined to be a loving teacher and mentor to whomever God sends into my life.
Saint Patrick I salute you with this little sumation of your life's story