Parenting Our Parents

Having an aging parent can be compared to caring for a child, but with some significant differences. They are your parent after all and used to being in the caretaker seat. And although everyone reads books on pregnancy and child rearing when they are expecting a baby, are given parties and gifts and advice, few of us are prepared for becoming our parent’s parent. I existed in denial until dawn gradually broke that my mother and I had swapped positions in the cosmos. This year has been a tremendous challenge and learning experience for me.

This fact reached past the current bad weather we are experiencing here in the NW when I received a comment on my blog about Manor Care from someone in North Carolina who has a mom in Manor Care, Tacoma. Their experience at the Tacoma facility has not been as good as that which we had at Manor Care, Gig Harbor and the plea for suggestions has raised some issues in my mind that are worth examining for everyone with an aging parent—for everyone with a parent since eventually they are going to get old. Some of the issues I have had to deal with besides care facilities are medications, equipment, shopping and security.

If you have an aging parent or believe they will one day be elderly, visit my blog The View From My Broom.

Your Parents' Safety Deposit Box

It’s Nearly 2009: Do you know what’s in your parents safety deposit box?

If you are among the largest American demographic—aging Baby Boomers—you likely have one or both parents who are part of the rapidly disappearing WWII generation. You may be dealing with your parents’ declining health, their ability to live independently and eventual demise.

My own mother has had two bouts of life threatening infections this year requiring scrutiny of her ability to continue living independently, her willingness to make lifestyle changes, and end of life issues. And she lives 150 miles from us. When she first moved from Gig Harbor to Ilwaco she was of reasonably sound mind and took care of her own affairs. That was ten years ago.

Our family spent this Thanksgiving in Ilwaco. The kids went home Saturday so after they’d left leaving my friends Jo & Jon and me to take my mother shopping we sat down for wonderful leftovers followed by the inspection of the contents of my mother’s safety deposit box.

On Friday we had gone to the bank in search of my mother’s life insurance policy which we need for her application to DSHS for Medicaid and in order to get help paying her somewhat extensive medical bills this year. What I believed would be a quick, easy trip, proved more daunting when her small box popped open to reveal about eight inches of disorganized envelopes and papers and the sought after policy not readily apparent. With a turkey on the barbecue and a Thanksgiving dinner to cook we decided to take the contents, in a large envelope provided by her bank, back to the house to be dealt with later.

Do you know what’s in your parents’ safety deposit box? We laughed, we cried, we didn’t find the $200 life insurance policy DSHS is asking for, but we did find some interesting things. If you are interested in finding out what we did find, check out The View From My Broom.