Am I Getting You Now

The Encounter Workshop, Formation Through Relationships was very important to me. I came to appreciate the difference between two words I use (and live by) constantly:
Understanding, Experiencing.
I am good at thinking... defining terms, putting together a logical piece of writing. And I did not realize that, for years, I believed that if I presented my concerns logically, many people would find my work persuasive. Their understanding would grow; and they would choose to act in ways that I would find supportive and helpful. If people understood my concerns, they would help me to address those concerns.
Most of the time I thought that people understood what I was saying. Rarely did people address my concerns. I became frustrated, angry, depressed, and ended up walking away from them.
I think, now, that if I had approached my concerns in a far different way, namely invited people to come and share some of my experiences, we would have been able to work together on concerns that were no longer mine, but our concerns, and I would have been a happier and healthier human being.
At the workshop, a couple at my table had a chance to demonstrate how words move us very little. Mrs who participated in the exercise is standing; Mr. is sitting (he is the first person in the picture from the left)


Their task-- to sit back to back, and put together a paper puzzle. Mrs. got a page with the puzzle completed and the puzzle pieces highlighted in such a way that she could see their shape and where they had to be placed. Mr. had the pieces.
The rest of us had to watch and keep our lips sealed.
They worked really hard but they were no way near completing the puzzle when time ran out.My point... without eye contact so that one could see the other's body language, one's chance of accurately experiencing what the other person was experiencing and accurately gauging what they were saying was very, very poor.



Words are powerful...but vocal tone and body language are key to appreciating the person's speaking concerns.
Understanding without experience does not help people to tune into each other. I am so glad that I am coming to terms with that...


Communicating takes a lot of loving and a lot of work doesn't it

A Most Joyful Time... First Vows In Portland, Oregon

A number of people I know as they finished sharing a moving, personal story, have exclaimed: "what a blessing!" I understand them to mean they have been deeply and positively touched in ways they had not imagined. And I am using those words, "what a blessing," to highlight the wonderful experience I had, beginning Friday afternoon, August 14 and concluding Saturday afternoon, August 15, in Portland, Oregon.
Three wonderful young men, Patrick Couture, SJ, Michael Laveson, SJ, and Lorenzo Herman, SJ, publicly proclaimed their First Vows in the Society of Jesus.
These wonderful young men publicly stated that with the prayers and love of family and friends and with the loving support and direction of God, they were choosing to live, with their brothers in the Jesuit community, poor,celibate, and obedient lives... giving themselves to the work of supporting God in creating a safe, healthy, and happy world for all God's creatures.
Each one of them moved through the services with great grace, confidence, and humility. I was so glad I had the chance to thank them for what they were doing.
I had an opportunity to spend some time with Lorenzo's father. We laughed and teased. Here is a picture of Lorenzo Herman, SJ, with his familyAnd I had a few moments with Lorenzo and those few moments were the occasion for my thinking I was so happy to be alive.

At the Eucharistic Celebration, during the Ritual of Sharing the Scriptures, Lorenzo's aunt sang wonderfully... enjoy her prayerful singing

Come Smell the Oregon Lavender Festival

Is the economy keeping you home from Hawaii this summer and the notion of murder, kidnapping and Swine Flu making Mexico unappealing? Try Oregon and the Oregon Lavender Festival for a sweet smelling summer get-away. The festival begins this Saturday, July 11th and ends Sunday. Get away from the hustle and bustle of the city for the rolling hills and fields of our neighbor Oregon. Whether it’s a day trip or you decide to stay over in one of Oregon’s villages, new views are right next door at very little trouble and expense.

Good Timing At The Monarch Hotel

Just got back last night from Portland, Oregon. Learned a lot---how to accept myself more, how to focus on my strengths and weaknesses more clearly, how to let people share themselves with me and how to share myself with others with more depth, how to just have a whole lot of fun. It could get chilly at night, warmed up some during the day, and, in this picture, you can see how the wonderful mountains are starting to dry out, just a little bit, we hope...









This was a "get down time." The presenters, Gil and Rose Apodaca, from Beaumonth California, and Fr. Tom Griffith, Divine Word Priest, from Duxbury, Massachusetts (one cool dude, let's give a shout out for cool Catholic priests!"
In this picture, from the right are the presenters, Father Tom Griffith,SVD, Rose and Gill Apodaca, the coordinators for the program (the hard workers), LaVonne and John Doherty, from Portland, and yours truly (who was a long distance encourager and got in this picture because, first, I look pretty (just telling it like it is), and second, along with the coordinators, I am a member of the executive team for the region...














The theme: well, Marvin Gaye would sum it up this way, "Let's Get It On." Behind the words and movement of that wonderful artist would be affirmation of love, of one's need for touch, affection, understanding, and passion, of the beauty of giving oneself to one's beloved. And I was so happy to deepen my appreciation of love, affection, passion, and of self-giving. Check out these two, they were witnesses to our deliberations... sitting on the presenters' table and appearing in various locations over the weekend to remind us that the greatest gift we can give to each other is unconditional love.

I enjoyed getting outside and clowning. Some folks who were getting in a smoke before the next section suggested taking a picture of me in front of the recycling bin would be instructive. Were they focusing on various possible metaphors... (and I added the swagger and moves of a rapper to make the metaphors melt)... a.. this brother is getting too old and plump and needs to be recycled; b... this brother is crazy, be careful... c. this brother is running for governor of Illinois, RUN AWAY!





Well, my brother (by love community, not by birth, ok...or am I belaboring the obvious) got me on videotape. I have left out his name and phone number to protect the silly.









I really enjoyed this enrichment... and I had a great time... thanks John and LaVonne and Gil and Rose and Fr. Tom... you are making a real difference in my life


Check out the music and the folks coming in before one of the presentations... cool, cool people!!!

Lavender Escape

The View from the Fields

If you’re trying one of the new “staycations” this year and next year feel flush enough to go a bit further afield you might want to try the Oregon Lavender Festival. The thirty-odd lavender farms are located south and east of Portland and while it would be difficult to see them all even in two days time, a leisurely drive through the Oregon countryside and walks amongst the lavender can certainly be a balm to the spirit provided one has brought plenty of liquid refreshment, a hat, and sun screen. The temperatures down here in Oregon got to as high as 102.

Having a friend who lives in the area is certainly a boon so Friday I arrived in Mt. Angel, Oregon to begin our lavender weekend with dinner at Mt. Angel’s Glockenspiel Restaurant. Since she is providing the bed and doing the driving, the least I can do is provide for our food so after a wonderful German repast we got plenty of sleep to begin our lavender adventure.

If you're in downtown Mt. Angel at 7 PM you can be treated to the music and action of the glockenspiel from which the restaurant gets its name.

On Saturday we visited five farms. Some we gave points to as to cuteness, beauty, and difficulty to find. One was up a one lane gravel road and proved not to be worth the drive. It will be crossed off the list for future tours, but hey, you can’t know if you don’t give it a go, right?

We started out at the actual festival at Yamhill as well as the Wayward Wind Lavender Farm store which is located in Yamhill. The sniffing and cooking had begun. The farms offer lavender products and lavender food. We had cookies made with lavender, lavender lemonade, and lavender sorbet. Finally I was sugared out and we dined on a picnic lunch we’d brought from home at a table provided by the farm.


We arrived back in Mt. Angel tired from the heat and dirty from our days adventure and very, very relaxed from all the lavender. And the fun is not over. The tour of lavender farms runs though Sunday.

An Oregon Get-Away

If you want a weekend get-away (and still can afford the gas) I cannot say enough good things about the Portland area. Portland itself is a vibrant, beautiful city with many districts and shops to keep one occupied for days. Powell’s Books alone could keep a bibliophile busy for an entire weekend. But if you prefer rural settings I urge tourists to get off the beaten path a bit and check out rural Oregon for it has many diversions. This past weekend I did just that.

Mt. Angel is frequently a destination for me when I head south. A sweet little town named for the Monastery of the same name, it was founded by Swiss immigrants and this tiny berg has a Bavarian feel. Friday night my oldest friend and I dined at the German restaurant Glockenspiel, so named for the giant glockenspiel in the tower above the restaurant. The new apartment/business building was built to add to the Bavarian feel of this tiny town that every fall hosts the Pacific Northwest’s largest Oktoberfest.

Each summer this part of rural Oregon also hosts one of the largest lavender festivals in the NW. This weekend I got to check out the Barn Owl Nursery. Even though the lavender is two months away from being in bloom their large gift shop of all things lavender made for lots of happy shopping for two lavender lovers. I have every intention of returning for the Yamhill festival in July.

If you want a relaxing get-away, check out the many little towns of rural Oregon. There are wineries and fruit and vegetable stands galore here in this NW bread basket. The rich soil lends itself to farming of every sort including organic diaries, free range chickens, and fruit, vegetables and nuts of every sort. In addition, rural Oregon has many crafters’ shops where one can browse antiques and creations made from new and used materials. Girls’ Back Porch is just such a crafters’ mall located at 8030 Wheatland Road North, Keizer, OR, 97303, (503) 856 -8150 in Keizer, OR. The Salem area has many businesses as well as excellent Goodwills.

The many rural towns of Oregon have farmer’s markets and art festivals during the summer. Taking a weekend to tour some of these and enjoy the fresh produce (be sure to bring your cooler with you) can make for a relaxing and valuable get-away. If you want to by-pass Portland on your way to more bucolic areas get off I-5 and on to I-205 until you reach the second Oregon City exit. When you hit Canby, Oregon you will be well on your way to being out in the country. Pull out your map and breath in the fresh air.