Am I Getting You Now

The Encounter Workshop, Formation Through Relationships was very important to me. I came to appreciate the difference between two words I use (and live by) constantly:
Understanding, Experiencing.
I am good at thinking... defining terms, putting together a logical piece of writing. And I did not realize that, for years, I believed that if I presented my concerns logically, many people would find my work persuasive. Their understanding would grow; and they would choose to act in ways that I would find supportive and helpful. If people understood my concerns, they would help me to address those concerns.
Most of the time I thought that people understood what I was saying. Rarely did people address my concerns. I became frustrated, angry, depressed, and ended up walking away from them.
I think, now, that if I had approached my concerns in a far different way, namely invited people to come and share some of my experiences, we would have been able to work together on concerns that were no longer mine, but our concerns, and I would have been a happier and healthier human being.
At the workshop, a couple at my table had a chance to demonstrate how words move us very little. Mrs who participated in the exercise is standing; Mr. is sitting (he is the first person in the picture from the left)


Their task-- to sit back to back, and put together a paper puzzle. Mrs. got a page with the puzzle completed and the puzzle pieces highlighted in such a way that she could see their shape and where they had to be placed. Mr. had the pieces.
The rest of us had to watch and keep our lips sealed.
They worked really hard but they were no way near completing the puzzle when time ran out.My point... without eye contact so that one could see the other's body language, one's chance of accurately experiencing what the other person was experiencing and accurately gauging what they were saying was very, very poor.



Words are powerful...but vocal tone and body language are key to appreciating the person's speaking concerns.
Understanding without experience does not help people to tune into each other. I am so glad that I am coming to terms with that...


Communicating takes a lot of loving and a lot of work doesn't it

A Most Joyful Time... First Vows In Portland, Oregon

A number of people I know as they finished sharing a moving, personal story, have exclaimed: "what a blessing!" I understand them to mean they have been deeply and positively touched in ways they had not imagined. And I am using those words, "what a blessing," to highlight the wonderful experience I had, beginning Friday afternoon, August 14 and concluding Saturday afternoon, August 15, in Portland, Oregon.
Three wonderful young men, Patrick Couture, SJ, Michael Laveson, SJ, and Lorenzo Herman, SJ, publicly proclaimed their First Vows in the Society of Jesus.
These wonderful young men publicly stated that with the prayers and love of family and friends and with the loving support and direction of God, they were choosing to live, with their brothers in the Jesuit community, poor,celibate, and obedient lives... giving themselves to the work of supporting God in creating a safe, healthy, and happy world for all God's creatures.
Each one of them moved through the services with great grace, confidence, and humility. I was so glad I had the chance to thank them for what they were doing.
I had an opportunity to spend some time with Lorenzo's father. We laughed and teased. Here is a picture of Lorenzo Herman, SJ, with his familyAnd I had a few moments with Lorenzo and those few moments were the occasion for my thinking I was so happy to be alive.

At the Eucharistic Celebration, during the Ritual of Sharing the Scriptures, Lorenzo's aunt sang wonderfully... enjoy her prayerful singing

Good Timing At The Monarch Hotel

Just got back last night from Portland, Oregon. Learned a lot---how to accept myself more, how to focus on my strengths and weaknesses more clearly, how to let people share themselves with me and how to share myself with others with more depth, how to just have a whole lot of fun. It could get chilly at night, warmed up some during the day, and, in this picture, you can see how the wonderful mountains are starting to dry out, just a little bit, we hope...









This was a "get down time." The presenters, Gil and Rose Apodaca, from Beaumonth California, and Fr. Tom Griffith, Divine Word Priest, from Duxbury, Massachusetts (one cool dude, let's give a shout out for cool Catholic priests!"
In this picture, from the right are the presenters, Father Tom Griffith,SVD, Rose and Gill Apodaca, the coordinators for the program (the hard workers), LaVonne and John Doherty, from Portland, and yours truly (who was a long distance encourager and got in this picture because, first, I look pretty (just telling it like it is), and second, along with the coordinators, I am a member of the executive team for the region...














The theme: well, Marvin Gaye would sum it up this way, "Let's Get It On." Behind the words and movement of that wonderful artist would be affirmation of love, of one's need for touch, affection, understanding, and passion, of the beauty of giving oneself to one's beloved. And I was so happy to deepen my appreciation of love, affection, passion, and of self-giving. Check out these two, they were witnesses to our deliberations... sitting on the presenters' table and appearing in various locations over the weekend to remind us that the greatest gift we can give to each other is unconditional love.

I enjoyed getting outside and clowning. Some folks who were getting in a smoke before the next section suggested taking a picture of me in front of the recycling bin would be instructive. Were they focusing on various possible metaphors... (and I added the swagger and moves of a rapper to make the metaphors melt)... a.. this brother is getting too old and plump and needs to be recycled; b... this brother is crazy, be careful... c. this brother is running for governor of Illinois, RUN AWAY!





Well, my brother (by love community, not by birth, ok...or am I belaboring the obvious) got me on videotape. I have left out his name and phone number to protect the silly.









I really enjoyed this enrichment... and I had a great time... thanks John and LaVonne and Gil and Rose and Fr. Tom... you are making a real difference in my life


Check out the music and the folks coming in before one of the presentations... cool, cool people!!!